If you’re in a dating relationship and you aren’t sure where it’s going and you think you love him, or at least he’s a good guy and he’s nice to you, but in all honesty you can’t envision being married to him in five years, let me give you the sign you’ve been looking for. You should break up with him.

You may think that’s harsh. I may not know you or him or anything about your relationship. But you should seriously consider breaking up with him. Even if you think he is The One, you should still consider it. The best divorce is the one you get before you get married.


  1. But he’s not a Christian and I’m working on leading him to Christ. By all means, lead him toward Christ, but if you’re a Christian you should marry a Christian. And a Christian who will lead you on to a deeper knowledge and love of Jesus.
  2. But we’ve been dating for five years already. If you’ve been dating for a long time (after college, that is) and you still aren’t sure he’s The One, he’s not. At least take a few months (at least three, but preferably six or more) “off” to re-evaluate.
  3. But what if I can’t find anyone else? You will. If God has a plan for you to marry, then it is the best plan and well worth waiting for, even if you don’t get married until you’re (gasp!) 30 or older. I know a lot of people marrying later in life who will testify to the benefit of waiting.