It has come to my attention that several of the long-held rules of etiquette that Claudia and Pearl and others have instilled in me are no longer en vogue. Please allow me to go on record as acknowledging this assertion but respectfully, emphatically disagreeing.

Please refrain from wearing white pants, skirts, or shoes; linen or any sort of linen blend; or seersucker before Easter or after Labor Day. Exceptions include people living in tropical climates, white athletic shoes, and those in the medical profession. And please refrain from allowing your sweet daughter to wear her white Sunday shoes after the first week of September, no matter the temperature outside.

Kindly refer to the leader of the Free World as Mr. President or President Bush, not Mr. Bush. No matter your political persuasion, your like or dislike of him, or whether you agree with his policies, the title demands an inherent level of respect.

Please understand that Evites have their place, to be sure, but that place is nowhere near a baby shower, bridal shower, or wedding. Please continue to print formal invitations and seal them in actual envelopes and mail them from literal mailboxes to announce these occasions.

Thank you.